a fruitful day

ok call me stupid, silly, blockhead, naive and irrational.

"follow your heart and do things from your heart, with passion and the alleged force of the strong determined mind" - i possess IT!

woke up bright and early this morning, greeted by a mysterious pretty yellow and green honey-sucker (btw its the term used for a small bird who drinks nectar from flowers) poached at my window grill. tweetering away its sweet melodious tunes that seems to be singing or wishing me - "good morning its gonna be a fabulous day for u... trust me". wonderful.

stripped down my nightie and slapped on a T-shirt and shorts, ran across my building towards the supermarket (still yawning), charged to the cashier a packet of rock-sugar, bread, green beans and barley seeds, pandan leaves... and my packet of Menthol - so u can guess.

hurried back (the clock seems to be ticking away trememdously loud in my ears) and boiled a whole pot of green beans cum barley soup (took quite a long time, i had to relentlessly keep stirring to avoid ending up with HARD BEANS..)

got dressed in an hour and flocked down (literally panting) towards the really nice eatery that was nearby my house to TA PAO a box of sweet and sour pork with rice and a sunshine egg (for the One that i love - his fav dish).

there is insufficient amounts of carbohydrates in my blood ! i presumed - series of dazed white and black spots seem to be focusing from my irises. puzzling.

got home and scooped generous amounts of the nice sweet dessert soup i made earlier on into a hot flask then trotted towards the One that i love place.

ah yes, the One that i love... apparently after his last routine Sat nite-out drinking sessions, he arrived home quite drunk. i have no reason to believe he knows how to take care of himself. he gets me very worried of his health, in any case, he has been suffering from strange repeated bouts of nose-bleeds. i find this situation very heart-breaking. he says its "nose cancer". oh blunder, touch wood.

took the very long endless journey over to his place - hoping i could catch him before he goes out of his house to work or something... was reciting in my heart what i was going to do - shove the things into his hands and say "take care of your health and eat more". that was my initial plan. a very stringent one i was going to adhere to.

when i did finally reach his door steps - the main wooden door was closed shut. alamak. rang him up to ask if he was home. he was. asked him to open the door please. he opened and walked away.

Damn.

so quite frightened and intimidated me (by his black face) managed a short phrase "nah... for u... ehh ok i go liao" but i stayed on. well he open the invitation of the opportunity for me to stay. damn grateful. my body was about to break.

he ate the food so quickly that when i took my eyes off the telly for a few mins to see him enjoying his food - it was already gone. he drank the whole bowl of dessert soup too, which made me very delighted. he appreciated my efforts.
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there is only one guy i most fear in my life. the One that i love. its rather weird, considering how defensive and loud-spoken i am.

but whatever things that occurred which has got to do with him or he himself just being mean and bad towards me - automatically i'll start re-tracking into a very timid and mild-mannered girl.

probably because i respect and adore him... or maybe its because i'm scared he'll turn violent on me... worst, totally ignore me.

drastic isn't it.

but somehow i love to slave and "worship" him... massaging his back and legs tenderly. i really do.

perhaps its just how love is. sacrificing, giving love.

to see him closing his eyes when i'm massaging him, relaxing and rid of his forever scowling, frowning and anguished facial expression (even if its for 15 mins), makes me feel happy, contented and whole :)

silly?