mishaps

a series of unfortunate events occured these few days... leaving me unable to function well as a being.. nor have time to idle online and pen excessive junk here. my spirit is not well... that i wholly admit... living life in such a turmoil has been giving me doubts abt wanting to continue the struggle.

i can't eat nor sleep nor think well. the stress is so great i've ignored my whole family and hardly done anything much for them this past week except for turning into my bed to try get some slumber and snooze. yet a good night's rest is so hard to come by... there's always elements of anxiety and anguish in my sleep... recurring in moments of sparked up nightmares...

simplicity is something i always wished for. but difficulties appear as mountains in this simple life i want, threatening to prevent me from walking continuously and steadily in the path i want.

why must i stay on to suffer such plights? why do i deserve such impetous evil in my life? yet i choose to sit in the seat of hell and tremendous pain becoz somehow my life is deserving to be piloted in the direction of hurt.

i see cars skidding past me... i wanna stand before them to be released of the pain.
i look at my elbow and how delicate the skin is moulded into my arm.. i wanna press a blade over it till red liquid trickles down from the sharp's metal mouth.

end my misery God. give me peace of mind. guild me tru' this endless struggle.