skate+camel-giraffe+science

today's events went pretty well... planned for ice-skating session with him last week so today was the big day. weird it seems... with all the kids running or rather skating around, made us feel and look pretty out of place.

short of looking like newbies trying out kiddish stuff, we held our composure... tried very hard to look cool whilst trying super very hard to maintain balance. maybe its the age thats catching up with me... i'm not bragging about how good i am on ice... i was brillant *smugged*

HOWEVER! that was the past... today was horrendously different... me trying just to prevent from falling... in any case should i had fell... DAMN! wetting my jeans with cold icy condensed water and having an ugly patch (like i peed tru' my pants) on my ass as i waddle ard. okay that was IF I FELL! apparently i didn't. AHHHHH! years back i could perform stunts, skipped ard and play fool... but today after hitting the ice with a leaky nose i was merely a big BOREDOM!
 

so we were skating wriggling amongst teeny-boppers... trying to get a cue of what kinda new sports we can try out besides clubbing and fuck-fun. hands-in-hands, there was times when the child in us came out... fooling ard pushing and pulling each other on the melting ice. i admit... it was fun... romantically irresistible... awkwardly exciting... undoubtingly something different from our day-to-day endevours.
 

pardon if we look bleak and ashen... it was simply too cold in there to be looking our best!
so he skated abit... rested at the side panel alot... had to pull him away from it as he clinged onto dear life... complaining his calfs were in pain and exhausion... strained at the muscle area... but i always am understanding... besides today was only his second time walking on ice... don't mind him looking like a cross between an overgrown camel and a giraffe... he still looks cute to me... i love him to bits!

after 2 hours of prolong and what seems like forever icy chill temperate torture we headed to catch Blade Trinity. my my... its a god-damn good flick... my favourite type of agenda... VAMPIRES!

*digress digress*

Was at Science Centre... at midnight?! ridicules it must seem... we were monkeys trying out the inventions and science models on display there at the park outside after few cans of beer... and even peed together in the bushes (with him continuously chanting "siam siam siam" in case we accidentally peed on a ghost?!) superstitions... better be safe then sorry...

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he ain't a good boyfriend... nor will i imagine him being a wonderful husband... he is nice... mr big nice guy to his friends and family... but love to him is something unnecessary and excess.

what is love? in his eyes love means being able to die for the other... so no he doesn't love me... he has too much responsibilities in this world to die for a mere youth as i am. any ger who fell for his charms and was with him before would understand. no ger can comprehend fully or tahan months and years with his behaviour and attitude towards them.

But here i am being the biggest fool in the world to want to give it a try. Try to accept him for who he is... his terribly insensitive and outrageously uncouth character towards me... it hurts many a times... breaks my heart to pieces...

short of being drama-mama here... what i speak of is what's real. this is the situation that i cannot tread out of. i've stepped into a hole too deep for me to climb out. the pit-hole signifies not only the dark pitch-black hurt that will always remain in my life but also the unseeing love i possess for him. bystanders do not comply with how i feel. they know only so little.

In life.. there will always be sacrifices made. perhaps this is my destiny... to be so washed-up and blindly overshadowed with my love for him... hence having to reap what i sow.