meek & lazy

S.P. rang me up suddenly at noon when i was still half in slumberland with my favourite fantasy gigolo. he asked me for MAMBO-ing session tml at zouk, and added there'll be hotstuffs there - ruggers full-bred. sld i or sldn't i??

my hp is acting all grisly n weird since that night i whamped it against the wooden floor (fits of anger and lost consciousness), it fell into pieces jus like all the glass and crystals that was once in my room. i should move onto plastics from now.

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F's been giving me consistent calls each night - enquiring abt my daily activities and the next day's plans... why do i sense he's behaving like a boyfriend already! gave me a very lame pick-up line for another obnoxious date with him - "i think we sld pop over chomps this week again... i miss the sugarcane juice..."

so i doubt he really misses sugarcane. u can get that stuff even at Giants and supermarkets - freshly squeezed. but i played along with him, playing as hard as i could (i'm running into a wall and smashing myself against it - suicide) "well ok, as long as monday till sunday's array of girlsfriends don't have me falling into the slot of friday saturday and sundays. anything else is ok"

i tot i heard him wheeze the slightest bit in response to my frankness as he blurted a slight laughter (jus trying to ease the tension from the conversation). hardly give a damn though.

"you should be proceeding to call up girlfriend C, D & E now... bye"

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had small talks with someone earlier on, contradictory its easier for me to chat up distant friends then those close to the heart? perhaps expressive enough in here but speechless and filled with anxiety, nervousness when i hear his voice (gasps!) where's the confident me hiding in?

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so its more enjoyable for the guy when i ride him... or so i was told. the sensation is different? professionalism or plain concidental that i managed the tactics to fuck their minds into outer space. then again... i rather be lazy and lie there enjoying the moment. im sucha pig. not forgetting i get muscle aches halfway through the procedure, especially when the dude is a marathon expert.

alright, i'm a weakling when it comes to strenous intensive collaboration of give-n-take. i jus like to take (or receive).

biggest turn-off still and will always be - excess saliva and foreplay.

Fast-food is always better and preferred in someways or the other.

so is violence under the blankets... yes i love biting raw flesh. but its one-tailed/sided.