marriage - damnation in this century
the One i love told me a philosophy the other day... about man and woman, which started my mind spinning.
when a man is married to his wife - he sees her as a responsibility.
when a man has a lover - he is with her because he loves her.
would you choose to be his wife or his lover then?
if you're his wife - he'll take care of u and be with you because he is bounded by the law and oathe to remain by your side "in sickness and in health for as long as death comes". he is the figure u can pin on with faith that he'll never leave u nor forsake u, because that is the committment that comes with the marriage bond.
if you're his lover - he'll love u with all the passion on earth, everyday will be a new chapter of romance, every single minute that u are with him, u obtain the full satisfaction of him loving and cherishing the time spent with u. he is with you because he loves u, not committment nor responsibility nor a helpless bond that ties u with him. that is his choice and he has chosen to share his love with u.
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is this the new ideology of the modern century? that marriage is viewed as a savagery plight that only pins a man and a woman down. that besides all the past historical views of the maritual rites, it is now de-valued and insignificant.
the marriage will still prevail - with offsprings and a traditional route of customary descent by the patriachal route...
but behind all of such liberal acts of faith based upon the bonds of the family ties, is an empty vessel containing nothing but the term - responsibility.
2 Comments:
if a man is truly committed to the relationship he would WANT the responsibility of taking care of the one he loves.
even a three year old child can say "i love you" but the parent's "i love you" comes with responsibility and commitment to the relationship. as the child grows into an adult his/her "i love you" also comes with responsibility and commitment to the parents.
by coincidence, i blogged about love and marriage last week. my point is that love is not just about hot passion and fluttering hearts. it is responsibility, appreciation, security, understanding and respect. this is the real love between mature adults.
lol secret lovers... i know ur frustration now... for everything there will always be an underlying reason. if the man chooses to step one leg on 2 boats, without giving priority to either... he must simply be fickle. on the other hand, he can have the best of both worlds... so why not?
maotai - sometimes there isn't such a thing as a such committment. u can be committed to working in ur job. period. but there will always be the moment of laziness and sloth coming in.
so in that sense, yes everybody in this society is more or less working towards getting the marriage papers signed... but marriage is just the beginning of all things. living together and maintaining years of inter-personal relationship is never easy. that's when historical traditions of prostitution evolved - dated since 18th century times.
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